#and im finding the balance between bitchiness and

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

turns out as much as i love thinking about and reading them i am REALLY bad at writing patching up wounds scenes

[lustbile]

What Are The Odds?

JungwooxReader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: semi public (restroom) penetrative. some grabbing and groping @ the beginning.

Note: if you’ve never played what are the odds here’s a very brief explanation. Person A wants something from person B. Person A asks what are the odds, person B says a number, for example 25. Both person A and B say a number between one and the given number and if they both say the same number person A wins. I know some people do extra rules sometimes including numbers divisible by 2 or something idk but i don’t care. 💜

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“Jungwoo, get your hand out of my pants.”

It was a harsh command, your words coming out quiet but sharp as you spoke through your teeth. Your less than forceful grip wraps around his wrist, and your foggy mind weakens the way you push at his wandering hands.

“You’re not wearing any pants,” he counters, far too serious for your liking and his greedy fingers desperately trying to dig deeper into your underwear shamelessly.

“Oh so a skirt gives you permission to be a pervert,” you swat at his hands again, huffing and pinching his skin as you turn every direction in search of your friends coming back, “they’re going to be back literally any second so can you please behave?”

—

—

��You’re no fun,” he finally obliges, his tone completely joking as he accepts defeat but not before pinching the skin of your belly in retaliation, “if they walk over and my hand is in your underwear, I think that’s their fault for being friends with us.”

Exactly on the queue of your hand connecting with his shoulder in an annoyed wack, you see your friends returning to the food court table you two sit at, completely oblivious smiles on their faces as they balance trays of food.

——

“What are the odds?”

“Hrm?” a small sound of confusion slipping out from around the mouth full of food you’re struggling to chew.

It was a small lull in conversation and everyone started to trickle into their own side conversations that had prompted Jungwoo to lean over and breath hotly against your ear with the sudden and confusing question. He had an issue with bringing you into the middle of a conversation that he had started only in his head, luckily for him you had a tendency to find it a bit charming, but at the moment your mind was occupied on willing yourself not to choke.

“What are the odds,” he speaks slower this time, as if a change in pace adds any context in the slightest. You finally look more at him, and notice that he’s all twitchy where he sits, his hands wringing together as he seems anxious and giddy for something to happen, “that you follow me to the bathroom right now.”

“For what?” you ask with a faux ignorance, only partially hoping it’s not for the reason you’re thinking.

“What do you mean for what?” he asks a bit louder than he probably intended, pulling the attention of one of your friends momentarily, but an eye roll and a shake of the head from you perfectly portrays ‘don’t worry, Jungwoo is just being Jungwoo.’

“You know exactly for what,” he speaks in a tone that makes you feel like you’re being scolded, but after a rough swallow, you can only smile at his dramatics, “so what are the odds?”

You huff quietly, dropping your fork clattering onto your plate to add dramatics, your bottom lip becoming your own personal chew toy as you glance around the relatively empty food court and preoccupied friends.

“Fifteen,” you finally respond after a moment of him doing nothing but glaring at you in anticipation. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to follow him and cause some chaos, but you feared saying ten would look too eager, and twenty just left more of a chance of it not happening than you wanted. Yes, you wanted to leave it to fate, but there’s nothing wrong with manipulating fate just a little.

“Fifteen,” he confirms with a grin, his legs wiggling beneath the table as he turns to face you more, his shoulders slouching and his eyes widening as he waits for your completely undivided attention to lay on him before counting down.

“Three, two, one....”

��Eleven.”

It’s in their air, same word, same number, but two different voices speak it. With a sinking heart, but warming belly, you throw your head back with a sigh when you realize he’s won.

“Excuse is up to you, since you’re such shit at what are the odds,” he taunts, only one dial of annoying away from calling you a nerd and taking your lunch money, “but you better be in the single person bathroom in ten minutes or you’re in trouble.”

He stands, giving some unnecessarily detailed explanation about where he was going before tripping over his feet towards the bathroom he’s been eyeing since the idea popped into his brain. You can only sink down into your seat and glance at the time on your phone as you wait for the perfect moment.

——

It was exactly eleven minutes after Jungwoo had disappeared that you decided to stand yourself, hoping he actually found a way to follow through on his earlier threat.

You mutter something about drinking too much water this morning, and a promise to check on Jungwoo if he still wasn’t out when you were done in hopes to mask what you’re really getting up to do. The chorus of acknowledging grumbles and a few playful ‘have fun’s seemed to be reassuring enough, and with a tug at the hem of your skirt, you're scurrying towards the bathroom you saw your boyfriend disappear into not long ago.

You stand at the door for a moment, pushing it another minute past your time limit partially to make the boy on the other side of the door squirm, but also to wrap your mind around what you’ve let him convince you to do.

It’s when you hear him quietly hiss in pain from messing with something he probably shouldn’t be touching at all, that you let out an airy laugh through your nose and lean against the locked door.

You knock gently at the door, whispering a taunting ‘guess who?’ in between taps, and before you could step back, he swings the door open, and you’re stumbling in.

“I said ten minutes,” he wastes no time scolding you for your poor listening skills, his hands grabbing for your waist and pushing your chest against the wall, “ten minutes is a perfectly reasonable time to come up with an excuse and follow your boyfriend to the bathroom to fuck isn’t it? So what could have possibly taken you so long?”

“Well, Jungwoo,” you start, fully prepared to pull something incredibly stupid out of thin air to use as an excuse, but when he presses his hips against your ass and you feel just how excited he had gotten just from his wandering hands earlier, you begin to stutter over your words, “m-maybe I just umm lost track of time?”

“Lost track of time?” he asks in a sarcastic and even borderline bitchy tone, “definitely doesn’t have anything to do with a little threat I made without even thinking earlier would it? Pfffft no how could it?”

You can’t even bite back, deliver the same level of idiotic sass that had attracted you two to each other in the first place. Not with your face pressing against the cold wall and his hands moving faster than you can process down towards your thighs.

He lets out quiet grunts of appreciation when he starts to push your skirt up and around your hips, a big evil smile crawling across his face when he sees that he had guessed perfectly correct, and you were in fact wearing his favorite pair of panties. (He swears he could pick them out from millions of pairs just from the way the elastic bites into his wrist.)

You’re pressed tighter against the wall, your panting breaths almost syncing with his own when he starts to roughly grind his denim clad crotch against you. His lack of snarky comments from the ways you’ve started to whine tells you you’ve lost him, and your thighs start to shake and tremble as you squeeze them together tightly, trying to relieve the pain from your sudden neediness and impatience.

“Jungwoo come on,” you whine, swinging your arm aimlessly behind you to swat at him, “we don’t have all day, they were already getting weird about how long you were taking before I left.”

“Fuck okay,” he says with hesitation before pulling away enough to shove your underwear down to pool around your ankles while muttering to himself.

You begin debating in your head whether or not you should touch yourself, before answering yes, you absolutely should, when you hear him struggling with his belt.

The first minuscule touch of your middle and ring finger touching your clit makes you gasp and press your forehead against the wall, the circling motions falling just short compared to the way he knows how to touch you and you can only huff in frustration from the stupidity of your own hand not knowing exactly what to do.

It’s the sound of his jeans falling around his knees and a small clicking of a cap that pulls you from your inner grumbling, but it’s the cold shock of the jelly on his fingers pushing between your thighs that makes you jerk your hand away from your body to mirror the other laying flat by your head.

“Why do you have lube?” you ask in shock and even a bit of arousal from how much curveball he could be, but you’d never admit the second part willingly to his face.

“I think the better question is why don’t you?” he asks with an air of arrogance as he pulls his fingers away and begins to audibly coat himself in the substance, “looks like im the prepared one between us for once.”

“Yeah prepared for something you weren’t even sure was going to happen.”

“Yeah but you’re letting it happen aren’t you? Loser,” regardless of the name that he throws at you, he seems to have lost his patience with the back and forth you two have started. So with the last last syllable still slipping between his teeth, the hand he doesn’t have wrapped around himself grabs you around the waist and he’s shoving himself almost completely inside you.

You don’t have time to muffle the surprised moan that falls from your tongue, instead all you can do is pray no one was close enough to the bathrooms to hear it as he starts to rock his hips against yours.

“Can’t judge me for the lube now can you?” it was rhetorical, but even if it wasn’t you would have been able to answer him. With the second thrust into you, he had already been able to seat himself fully into you, the size of him still shocking you to this day and you can only clench and squirm against him.

His hands are clumsy as the trace around your body. His non dominant hand struggles to push under the hem of your shirt to grasp at your chest, while his other dips below the skirt he was so thrilled you had chosen to wear in search of the space between your thighs.

His breath is hot and quick pants when he leans his chest against your back and pushes his face into the crook of your neck. You almost feel like you’re suffocating from how much he begins to surround you and you really for the life of you cannot think of a worse placed to pass out in than a food court bathroom with your boyfriend fucking your brains out.

It’s when his own fingers dig into your clit and his warm tongue drags up the side of your neck, so you remember the existence of your own hands. You shove one up your now stretched out top to tangle tightly with the one he has kneading your chest, while the other slams tightly against your mouth to muffle the moans and squeaks that now beat against it.

“I wanna make you come so fucking hard,” he grunts in your ear with every ounce of honestly he can pull from his chest, his hips showing you exactly how truthful he is with the way they thrust roughly against you, pushing and pulling you apart in a way that makes you feel like he’s trying to take you apart at the seams, “wanted that since I saw you put on that cute little skirt on this morning. You just live to taunt me don’t you?”

You can’t answer, too afraid that taking your hand even the slightest amount away from your mouth will expose to the whole food court exactly what’s happening behind the closed door. Instead all you do is push back against him, trying hopelessly to match his thrusts and getting a sharp bite to the soft skin of your neck in retaliation.

“Better come quick before they think we got lost in here,” he says too coolly, his ability to not sound like he’s on a brink of orgasm when you know for a fact he is almost driving you up the wall. But unfortunately, his words and the fact that you're just as much, if not closer to your finish than him, has you melting back into his chest.

Even when your thighs begin to tremble, and you accidentally step back onto his foot, his fingers don’t stutter in the slightest. The arm pushing against your chest keeps you from squirming away from him, and even with your thighs trying to push him out, he keeps his fast and unrelenting pace on your hypersensitive clit.

You’re pushing up on your toes, his one foot still getting crushed under your weight, and your neck inhumanly arching to lean your head against his shoulder as you start to come. You can hear the faint growling noise you make from behind your hand, but your mind is too busy blanking out to control anything that comes from your mouth.

You feel your eyes watering as his fingers keep moving against you to carry you through your orgasm, his own finally creeping up and making him shove himself fully inside you as he starts to come.

The feeling of him spilling inside you creates borderline unbearable waves of aftershocks to wash across you, and you can feel your body fluttering around him as you try to ruin his brain just as much as he did your own. It’s almost like a small competition sparks between you to fight against your own pleasure just to simply torture the other, but eventually once your both sporting lines of sweat on your hairlines and aching shoulders and back do you silently call it a truce.

The small room suddenly feels too hot for either of you to be anywhere close to it, but you’d rather scream than let him take his hands away from your body. You’re more than glad to shove his fingers away from your buzzing clit, but you still keep it wrapped tightly in your fist the way you do to his other.

When he pulls out you feel a disappointing emptiness but an even more embarrassing rush of fear of the evidence of his orgasm leaking onto the floor, so all you can do is whine and squeeze your thighs back together again while you and him both catch your breaths.

“Come on,” he whispers, and that and the way his hands smooth over your burning skin is almost sweet, until he swats at your ass harshly before he starts to pull his jeans back onto his hips.

“Didn’t feel like I was in much trouble,” you loudly sigh in both faux disappointment but also to help even your breathing, “guess you’re all bark and no bite puppy boy.”

He glares to the best of his ability, but his still animated brows and pouting lips makes him look hilariously cute, “you think you’re getting punished in the bathroom? Absolutely not, I’m a man of class and respect.”

“Man of respect? You just fucked me in a public toilet after a game of what are the odds.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, weirdly focused on redoing his belt and avoiding your eyes, “anyways we should probably go, they probably already think the chicken I got was bad or something.”

“You go,” you push him aside gentle before you begin a awkward trip towards the toilet in the corner, “I’m going to get rid of the mess you made and pee all you’re gross boy germs out so you go and please try to come up with an excuse that won’t make us both look like freaks okay?”

“On it captain,” he salutes to you before ducking out in a way that makes you question if you really truly let him just put his dick inside you, but with a growing need to pee you push it aside to waddle with haste.

It’s not until you shuffling back to the table in what you assumed was a discreet walk of shame do you realize he’s done the opposite of what you asked, as when you finally reach within hearing range to the table you’re immediately met with jeers and taunts about you and your boyfriend being insatiable freaks. But at least Jungwoo has the decency to look a little ashamed and maybe even a dash of apologetic.

[astro211]

Developed vs. Underdeveloped traits

Take this with grain of salt. Its not a full list just small descriptions (mostly for fun) Use Sun  Moon  or Rising.

LIBRA

Developed: They are diplomatic and charming people. They can stand on their own and aren’t scared to disagree with someone, because they know how to do so in a respectful manner, and if that person has an issue with it, its okay because libra knows it’s not their problem to fix. They are be polite but more authentic. Certainly the type you can take home to momma. They can create a true balance between things/people. They easily see things from another’s perspective and are great at collaborating with people. They are wonderfully creative and use their creative and romantic abilities to create beautiful connections with other individuals. Low-key mind readers.

Underdeveloped: Can be way too concerned with finding someone to love/having someone love them. They can be dependent and as a result sacrifice authenticity for company. They don’t create real bonds because they may be too agreeable and lack an opinion becoming a mirror of the person/people they are with. They can struggle with the unfairness of the world. They can be shallow, flirtatious and flakey. struggle with being a door-matt. Lack backbone. They say things they think you want to hear. They deeply fear confrontation and are very avoidant and it can create a bad rep. Generally they may be basic and sooo corny. 

SCORPIO

Developed: Fiercely intelligent and their intuition is like a superpower. They can’t be fooled or its not an easy task. They are able to let things go and welcome the changes that come. They transform into something greater. The Phoenix is often referred to with scorpio/pluto. They have a need to change and transform, so they satisfy this by burning away the useless parts of themselves ~even if it’s most of them~ then they are reborn into what is greater and stronger than before. They can get to the root of things and can make for wonderful artists. They know their power (and boy do they have power) and wield it wisely. Charming babes, very perceptive and don’t have time for BS so they keep it real. 

Underdeveloped: Emo babies. They can be way too edgy and people may have to constantly tip toe around them otherwise risking being attacked. This is because underdeveloped scorpio placements can be paranoid, hypersensitive and perceive anything as a personal attack. They don’t know how to deal with the depths of their emotions, resulting in a hypersensitive edge lord that probably can’t handle any sort of lighthearted joke. They perhaps have yet to chop away at the no longer useful parts of themselves and this can result in a self-destructive nature. I predict a tendency towards the ‘fuck it’ mindset which ultimately fucks them over. Intense but in a manner that pushes people away.

SAGITTARIUS

Developed: Glorious sunshine babies who radiate pure joy and deserve to be beloved by all. (Im a sagittarius so I would know;) ). They are honest. They can see the truth for what it is. Even with the cruel realities of the world but they still remain joyful and optimistic. They know when/how to keep their mouths shut. They’re thoughtful and charming. They can see the bigger picture and how beautiful it is and they share that image with those around them, inspiring themselves and others to aim high. They bring up the moods of those around them. Funny and able to roll with the punches. They are fearless and focused. They work hard and their positive outlooks bring them good luck.

Underdeveloped: Blunt. Their honesty can be very misguided and it can create really awkward situations. They can be sooo laid back that they don’t even care about how they impact those around them or even what happens to themselves (similar to scorpios ‘fuck it’ I’ve seen this with both). They can be hotheaded and stubbornly preachy, insisting their way is the only and right way. They exaggerate often because they haven’t developed their inner storyteller. They procrastinate and escape any difficulties because they don’t know how to handle negativity in life. Their escapist nature can make them flakey. Not the best people to lean on because they’ll vanish esp. if they feel like there is too much responsibility on their shoulders.

CAPRICORN

Developed: These babies work hard and they kick ass! They have unstoppable self-care/ compassion for themselves. They don’t fear failure, instead they use it to their advantage and learn from it. They, like sagittarius, look to the future and can see whats possible and as a result they prepare and are very disciplined as they know hard work pays off. They evaluate people and things and easily can determine who and what is worth their time, and are disciplined about not wasting their time energy or resources. Once they decide someone/thing is worthy they are devoted. They are serious at times but its rooted in practicality. 

Underdeveloped: They can be stubborn and struggle to work well with others. Too prideful. They know what needs to be done and they don’t like the idea of other people getting in their way. They can be very cynical and this may skew their visions of the future, for their prepared nature is meant to help them but this may demotivate them instead if they are plagued by self-doubt. Their cold and bitchy when they shouldn’t be. They can be way to serious and constantly be putting a damper on things. Difficulty being open or vulnerable with anyone. They live life alone because its easier and safer than devoting yourself to someone who may stab you in the back and leave you bleeding in the cold. 

AQUARIUS

Developed: These guys are trend setters. Icons. They don’t need anybody’s approval. They change the world. They bring people together. Fearless when they fight for what they believe in. Nothing can hold them back, stares, words of discouragement; they know what they’re doing and not you nor anybody else can stop them. They’re very intelligent. Compassionate as hell and they really love hard. They are the masters of not giving a fuck. They are visionaries. Great leaders. They do their own thing and yeah they probably stand out and are very capable of influencing those around them. Authentic, cool and unforgettable. 

Underdeveloped: Lone wolf. Extreme in a manner that pushes people away. They have to stand out even if its for negative reasons. They distance themselves from other people. They’re too in their head and just observe instead of live. They might do whatever they can to blend in or people please. They want to be part of a group so much it stops them from being an individual OR they consistently keep people at arms length so they feel disconnected from people, and it fuels the idea they’re just too strange and unique for human connection. They may be very contradictory and confusing.

PISCES

developed: Confident, creative compassionate. These folks can create a whole new world and if you’re lucky you’ll be invited in. They have a healing nature/ their positive energy is intoxicating and brings people up. They take care of themselves; they extend their empathy towards themselves /past present future self/ which enables them to take care of themselves. i.e. forgiving past self to move forward// doing things now to help future self. Pisces high levels of sensitivity can make them rather magical. Fantastic artists. Big hearts.

Underdeveloped: Escapists. Cant handle the world, would rather eat, drink sleep, etc.  They isolate and dream but in a damaging way. The world drains them, perhaps because they have yet to emotionally figure out where they end and the world around them begins. They can take on a victim mentality. Lying is another poor energy this sign might lean into. Deception. Laziness. Hypersensitivity. They really need solid boundaries in order to flourish. sure, we all do but Pisces energy is particularly delicate to the energy around them so esp. for this sign.  Directionless and not fully present. 

Part 2

[sublimedreamnight]

to anyone who needs to hear this: you won't always be your teenage self. it will get better.

when i was a teenager, i was an awful, melancholic piece of shit and i hated myself. i was moody, always sad, angered easily, i didnt have my emotions under control at all, i took everything personally and it only lead to fights with the people i loved and regrets afterwards. i felt too much or not at all and it could change between those two options in a minute. i hated myself and who i was, i was so afraid i wasn't a good person, that i was this spiteful bitchy cynic because who could ever love me like that? how could anyone find me nice or lovable when i was so full of rage? how can I go on like this? everything feels like shit, everything will just get worse, everyone will leave me, it will be this, always and forever, so maybe the real question is why should i go on?

now im twenty. i still have a long way to go to be the person i want to be. i still fight with my family, i still lash out, i'm still sad without a reason. i have a lot to learn. but since im not in puberty, it has gotten so much better. like... so much. my emotions are much more in check, much more stable, calmer, balanced. like i've gone back to the personality i had as a kid, im again this bubbly, talkative person, carefree and always joking, always smiling, optimistic and hopeful, believing in magic and the goodness of humanity.

it's different for everybody of course, and i don't want to imply that growing out of puberty will solve all the problems or heal mental illnesses or trauma. what I'm trying to say is that sometimes the blues are really caused by pubertal hormone imbalance so please please please don't give up. stay. it will get better

[rigged]

omg im in love with the way you color skin color. it’s this lovely neutral color, not redish or yellowish. if it’s okay to ask, do you have any tips to color skin? your blues and yellows are really pretty as well, like in your hyunjin + minho gifset

ahh thank you that makes me happy to hear as it’s something i’m always conscious of. i’ll give a rundown of my own process/tips and link some specific tutorial that i found helpful 🙇🏻‍♀️ sry there’s a lot of text under cut..

i’ve noticed a lot of ppl think the source material is always extremely whitewashed but that’s not true. most of the time it’s ok to use the original vid as a guide for coloring. the skintone isn’t pale in most cases, it’s just gray/washed out. so a little enhancing and brightening is enough to get started

i always adjust lighting first — brighten, bring up the contrast, etc. (use exposure, curves, levels, brightness/contrast). this will decrease the “grayness” of the skin. note that sometimes darkening the shadows will make the skin appear redder/darker, but you can fix that in selective colors red & yellow later

another tip is using the black and white droppers in curves, which is great for when there’s a weird filter on the original vid. here are two tutorials for that method. note that it’s very drastic and won’t always work, but when it does work it’s very handy and will instantly give you a good base for natural coloring

another way to create a good “base” for natural coloring is using a few layers of filters (at low opacity like ~5-10%) to “recolor” the gif. like mixing paint to get a skintone, using some combo of yellow/red/pink/orange filters, and purple/blue/green filters to neutralize the warm filters will help bring some color back into the skin (+overall gif). i don’t use this method unless the original vid is REALLY gray or pale

after lighting/basic color correcting i usually use hue/saturation or vibrance to make the colors pop. you can isolate red and yellow (i.e. skintone) in hue/saturation and adjust to make them a bit more saturated

to fine-tune skin color, i use the red and yellow tabs in selective colors. i use the magenta & yellow sliders to get a good balance between pink-tint and yellow-tint for skintone, and use the cyan slider to determine how saturated the skin looks (sliding cyan too far to the left will give you that red/orange skintone — sliding to the right will neutralize the skin color; too much to the right will make the skin gray)

don’t go too far to the right for magenta — it’ll make the skin look like a slab of ham. likewise, don’t slide too much for yellow or skin will look sallow. those two sliders work in tandem for me — always try to have a good balance between those (for red color tab especially. yellow too). you can slide more drastically as long as you keep a good balance between magenta/yellow/cyan (sometimes skin is rly gray so you will need to slide more)

i find that adjusting the sliders in the yellow tab helps fine-tune the red tab, making more subtle changes to skintone. the same balance of cyan-magenta-yellow sliders applies when you’re in the yellow tab

depending on vid i may use a few more layers of selective colors and hue/saturation

i also use color balance (midtone or highlight) to change the skintone as a whole (usually to make it look peachier)

another tip is using the gradient tool. i use this as an extra step for vids with rly weird lighting or filter cus i can basically choose my own skintone and apply it to the gif, which directly adds the hue i want to the skin. it’s like using a warm filter, but more specifically targeted to certain areas (skin). i cant find a tutorial for this one but i can explain in more detail in another post if and when i can

my ultimate tip to get natural skin color is to go without a psd so you’re coloring from scratch instead of working within a psd to un-orangefy/un-yellowfy/etc. making your own natural coloring psd is tricky bc vid colors/lightings are always different. the best natural tones come from coloring from scratch (in my experience)

here is a good skin coloring tutorial that gives tips on how to not red/orange-wash. it’s the basics but it’ll get you to a good place. best of luck! sry that was a lot of words fjdh i’ll try using pics next time 😭 i wanted to give some actual useful tips instead of vague instructions. lmk if you still have questions

everyone’s process is different and i doubt mine is the only or even remotely the best one 🐌 these are come of my fav giffers when it comes to consistently good natural skintones, you can def use them as guides too @/krystal @/heejin @/yeo1 @/abi6x @/jungwooyoungs @/seungs @/leesangyeon @/98es @/jypestraykids @/bitchie @/woodzm @/sunswoo @/neocitys @/crekeranti @/tbzgen @/hwqll

[henrik-von-schneeplestein]

now THATS interesting to think of between them! i always imagined anti looking and acting all scary n shit, but in reality hes awkward and a mess. idk abt the whole shipping business (not bc i dont like it, but bc im not into it myself! bc of you i actually discovered schneeplebro, n some of it has made me soft ngl), but i def see a whole co-parenting thing going on at the very least! - 🎅🏻

Anti are JJ are just an interesting pair in any context tbh!! I love that type of Anti - like he’s kinda bitchy and snarky but he’s still their friend! But yeah I think even a friendship between them could be a really cool and honestly funny thing to explore.

And yeah, imo in terms of shipping all ego ships are great but schneeplebro absolutely hits all the way different. It’s about the friends to lovers. It’s about the way their personalities click, with similar senses of humor and life experience (divorced fathers) but also balancing each other out - Henrik being the logic & stability to Chase’s emotional impulsivity and Chase being the softness and fun to Henrik’s quiet severity. It’s about the way they each think of themselves as ‘half’ of a broken marriage, of broken families, but they find each other and it’s like they find the other half they were always meant to be with, and they stitch themselves back into a whole family, more beautiful than either of the originals because it’s one they fought for.

🥺 🥺 🥺

[kashimos-hajime]

May I have some director’s commentary on Honeyed Tea and Walk Me Home?

yes of course!!

send me a fic/scene you want a “director’s cut” of

Honeyed Tea: so this was written maybe in the week after I saw FFH, and let me just say, i’m a huge fan of hurt/comfort, so when I remembered Quen got fired from Stark Industries (SI), I thought, what if his best friend (occasional hook up) learned about it? I also never write fluff so this was a good chance to get all my soft feels out about Quentin.

The dynamic between them was so fun to write, because Reader definitely knows how to push his buttons, and she’s definitely not afraid of him, straight out telling that she quit for him, as well as unfraid of yelling at him. That kind of Reader is fun to write. I love writing strong characters and this Reader is definitely one of them.

(maybe one day i should write a weak reader, but who knows?)

“Oh, so this is a hookup now?” you whisper, gaze flickering from his eyes to his plush lips. Your hand on his cheek slides to curl around his neck, fingers playing with tiny hairs along the nape as you swallow what’s left of your inhibitions. If you have to sit here another moment with your hot best friend’s hands on your hips without any action, you might go crazy.

“Well, I wouldn’t say hookup. Too crass.”

“Oh, you’re so classy.”

The teasing! The wittiness! I love them so much. It was important to me that Reader’s internal dialogue - describing Quentin as hot in this paragraph for exmaple - reflected her actions. And the tea. Let me just say, I wanted to end this on humour and I thought of this on a car ride to school. Throughout the whole fic, you can tell they know each other pretty well/they’ve done this before, and obviously they’re going to be loose and fun with it, so the tea was just a fun little thing to add going back. I added all the tea bits, about how much reader loved tea after I finished the fic!

Walk Me Home: This fic!! It kinda has an unexpected place in my heart because of how much Reader flip flops between feeling like kissing Quen and slapping him, because human emotions are messy. The idea for a Stark-Parker!Reader came to me at night, when I was trying to think why she was with Peter. Being a SHIELD agent didn’t work, because then she’d have no previous interaction with Quentin. I wanted her to know him intimately well, so in a way, this is kind of like a scorned!reader fic.

I really wanted to emphasize on how much Reader cares for Peter in the few lines I could spare without making it a big thing because otherwise I would’ve gone on and on. Her being protective with Peter, her dad, and the protocols he made, her volunteering in his place, are just some hints. The one conversation Peter and YN have - it’s also clear that they have a very open relationship since she openly accepts Peter calling her bitchy. I also wanted to establish that YN was close to her father and Quentin, despite them being ‘enemies’, and that Quentin’s feelings for reader are 100% genuine. It was hard to find the balance, because Quentin lying and Reader knowing about it made it hard to sway her to keep his secret.

The ring. Ah, the ring. That’s how I fixed it. First off, it established that Quentin was completely serious about her since he is held at basically knifepoint by his ex. 

You want him to dig up his memories, rip him apart, thrash him with his guilt. You want him to hurt, you want him to care enough to say them.

God, you want him to love you, still and you hate yourself for it.

Reader still loves him, which sucks, unfortunately, Quentin is an asshole.

“You suck.” Your voice twists as a flat smile works its way onto your face. “You’re awful, you know that?” Your fingers run over your eyes, trying to plug the tears as you paste on that fake smile of yours. “You might be the worst person I’ve ever met, and I’ve met aliens and killer robots, and people who have bombed the U.N., so it’s actually quite an achievement.”

Once I factored the ring, it became easy to give Reader the fuel to shoot at Quentin. It became easy to show how Quentin thought Reader got him fired, how much he loved her and her, him. Everything just clicked. The ring was the answer! 

(PS, if you want more on specific scenes, go ahead and send me another ask!! im trying to keep these short so they arent too long to read)

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) Pt2

WOWW I finally got this out. This one was hard cause theres so much dialogue and I’ve also been dealing with a lot of vacations and work shit going on in my personal life. Finally getting this done though! Lots of Freddy in this chapter. 

-----------------

Gifts

Charles Lee Ray sat up from his bed with a scream. The doll frantically checked his body where moments ago clown/vampire hell spawn had been tearing into his rubber synthetic skin. His wife groaned and rolled over greedily pulling the sheets with her, it was too damn early to deal with Chucky’s bullshit.

“J-just a dream just a fuckin’ dream” he mumbled Tiff flipped onto her back and stared at the ceiling through her eye mask. “It’s six in the damn morning Chucky” she growled.

“I’m gonna go downstairs and everything will be fine and normal and Fangs will be smoking a bowl and not filled with demons.”

“Chucky.”

“And they wont explode out of her and eat me alive.”

“Chucky!”

“And Jingles wont be fuckin’ laughing at me”

“CHUCKY!!” Tiff ripped off her eye mask as she sat up. “IT’S SIX IN THE FUCKING MORNING.”

The killer doll stared shocked and silent at his enraged spouse.

“Go back to sleep.” she grumbled as she attempted to lay down again.

“Look its a valid fear.” Chucky began to ramble and Tiff’s eyes slowly rolled back open. “You saw what happened when we had the twins!! Think about what their hell-spawn will look like!”

“Most of what happened was your fault dear.”

“Ok but Jingles and Fangs are both twice as unstable as we are! At least I don't look at a fuckin toddler and think breakfast!”

“I think you’re letting him get to you. By the way did you tell the clown the kids are coming?” Tiff asked deciding that going back to sleep wasn't an option at this point. Chucky’s eyes went wide.

“Fuck.”

“YOU FORGOT?! If he tries to eat them you're gonna be in a load of trouble!”

“Tiff! it'll be fine! At the worst he’ll just eat Glenn and thats not so bad is it?”

“CHUCKY!”

“All right, all right! I’ll let him know sheesh.”

The doll slipped on a Christmas sweater depicting some sort of reindeer gang bang and shuffled down the stairs of the old house. He heard a loud pleasured groan coming from the couch which usually meant one of two unsavory things in this house both of which Chucky would rather not witness.

“Hey Jingles put your dick away my kids are coming over!” he shouted down from the middle of the stairs deciding that proceeding any further would result in seeing something that would ruin his holiday before it even began. The doll was answered with a gruff swear and grumbling.

“Did you hear me clown?” he called down the steps again.

“Shut up Chuck I'm trying to enjoy my holiday!” a shout called out through the rotting halls.

“Krueger? The fuck are you doing here?” Chucky groaned walking down the stairs and into the room then quickly turned around and swore when he saw the scene on the couch.

“Getting laid jackass what does it look like?” Freddy grumbled zipping up his pants as Chris popped his head up his hair a total sweaty mess under Freddy’s signature fedora.

“You have your own damn house for that shit! Where the fuck is Jingles?” the doll turned away. Great holiday already ruined.

“He’s throwing up with Fangs in the basement.”

“And here I thought you were the freak.” Chucky rolled his eyes.

“He is.” Chris added wiping his mouth.

“Oh come on Chrissy you haven't been complaining.” the dream demon swung a clawed hand over his shoulders in a way that came off more as threatening than affectionate. His knife tipped fingers dug slightly into the humans shirt and a disgusting rotten tongue peaked out from between Freddy’s ruined lips.

“I’m fucking you cause I have nothing left.” Chris flinched at Freddy’s touch.

“Isn’t he great?” the dream demon grinned.

“Yeah pretty sure you traumatized this guy.” Chucky folded his arms over his chest

“Nah Fangs traumatized him, I just cleaned up her mess and stole her leftovers.”

“Your friends are awful people.” Chris hissed at Freddy.

“You’re not wrong buddy! Speaking of I need to find Jingles before he eats my kids or whatever.” Chucky turned to make his way to the kitchen.

“Wow you're a real model parent Chuck.” Freddy called after him striking a nerve.

“Like you know anything about being a dad.” The doll turned around and snapped.

“I do! I was great at it!” Freddy leaned back clicking on the old tv.

“Didn’t your kid try to kill you?” Chucky squinted.

“Didn’t your’s?” Freddy cocked a ruined brow.

“I’m sensing a trend here within our community and our parenting abilities.” the doll said deep in thought.

“So how long do you think Jingles and Fangs will last?” Freddy smirked placing his hands over his head.

“I’ll give em a week.” Chucky laughed.

“Eleven minutes.” Chris chimed in and Freddy laughed.

“Harsh Chrissy. You're probably right.”

“Wellp I’ve lost focus back to bed for me.” Chucky stretched and yawned.

“You’re not going to tell Jingles to forgo the Christmas dinner? Tiff’s gonna cut your nuts off.” Freddy began making a dramatic snipping motion with his claws inches from his human’s nose for dramatic effect.

“Eh knowing Glenda she’ll probably scare him first.”

Freddy laughed and placed his arm around his captive once again as the movie he was looking for began to play. “There goes a very brave and stupid man Chrissy.”

“Fuck you too Fred.”

———————————————

“Hey Pen? Is there any way you can make me forget that?” Leech groaned her back against the clown’s as the pair waited for the nausea to die down in the basement. One of his eyes peeled open and a single molten pupil rolled back in her direction. Pennywise let out a long disgusted growl at the memory he'd just received.

“I’d like to do the same for myself” he finally muttered out and felt a chuckle vibrate against him.

“Well I got the next best thing if you’re interested.”

The eldritch exhaled a gravely sigh “For once, I'm not in the mood.”

“Yeah wasn't talking about that Pen. Sheesh and you say my mind is the one that’s always in the gutter!”

“It is.”

The clown sat up and turned his head to his mate as she pushed off him to walk over to a pile of ancient junk. Penny began making clicking vocalizations indicating interest and skittered up to her the sound of insectile limbs that weren't there trailed behind him as he moved. His noises got louder and Leech felt a large presence behind her trying to nose its way into what she was doing. The vampire batted the giant beast away.

“No peeking big guy and no mind reading this is a surprise.” she scolded him Pennywise grumbled and turned around as she dug into her hiding place. He began to ponder how she was able to get past him when suddenly he got an idea and a faint glow began to illuminate from his eyes. “You have no idea how hard it was to keep this from you, I wanted to give it to you at the end of the celebrations but Fred had to go and be gross.” she rambled not even noticing that her mate had vanished. “I know you collect this shit so I threatened and tortured several people to get this done since you're incredibly hard to shop for.” she continued to ramble to nothing as she pulled out a large flat gift.

“Ok you can look n-Pen?” the nosferatu looked around behind her. “Pennywise?” she called out to him but got no response. “Oh come on I worked really hard on this!” Leech snarled in frustration. “Pen for real this is important to me where the fuck did you go?” after more silence the vampire sent a cacophony of curses into the air before letting out a frustrated screech. Leech felt her vision blur and her offspring threaten to take hold of her again as her temper flared. She grabbed her abdomen and fought them back. “Kids mamma loves you, but we have got to talk about our tantrums.” she grated out against their hold on her, trying to calmly slide Penny’s gift under her arm and climb up the stairs of the basement.

“I take back what I said about your father being a good mate, fucker has the attention span of a goldfish.” she felt a swell in her mind and slammed the door a little too hard behind her. “What don't agree with me? Please don't tell me you've already inherited his superiority complex, some of you gotta be at least a little like me to balance this household out.”

“WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO FANGS?” Freddy yelled from the couch.

“My spawn Freddy go back to getting your dick sucked!” she snarled at the dream demon.

“Man those kids are going to be fucked up!” he laughed “I’m already finished with that anyway get in here were watching Grinch!” Freddy heard a sigh and Leech grumpily placed the unopened christmas gift by the tree before flopping next to her friend and the man who cut off her finger only a few hours ago.  

“So you're dating someone.” the vampire side eyed the dream demon and made a face when she saw he hadn't bothered to put pants back on.

“You can talk to me too you know I'm right here.” Chris grumbled.

“I’m fucking someone theres a difference Fangs.” He huffed.

“If you were just fucking you wouldn't have brought him home.”

“Wow again right here-”

“Be grateful I didn't eat you too Chris.” Leech snapped.

“What a surprise, the vampire is getting moody. This is why Im fucking a human way less bitchy.” Freddy rolled his eyes and cleaned his fingernails with his claws.

Leech hissed low in her throat as her upper lip twitched over her fangs in warning. Chris quivered a bit in fear remembering the last time he heard such noises. Her mere presence alone made him even more uneasy in this house now it sounded like she was about to snap again.

“I-I oh god how did I end up here what have I done.…” the human ran his fingers through his hair and Freddy rolled his eyes. Great another damn break down.

“All right babe deep breath daddy Freddys here shhh.”

Leech looked up from the dusty decrepit tv “Wellp I’m leaving.”

“Oh yeah like I don't have to endure this all the time from you!”

“Daddy really?”

“You call the clown Snuggle Muffin!”

“Yeah when were alone. By the way Chris, Fred can regrow his fingers. Do me a favor since you owe me one and put him in his place.”

“Sheesh you're grumpy Fangs” Freddy rolled his eyes and placed his gloved hand around the human that Leech was pretty sure experiencing some form of Stockholm syndrome.

“All my friends are dead.”

“Did we traumatize him?” she asked the dream demon.

“I dunno probably. Rides a dick like a slut though!”

“Well I'm glad someones having a Merry Christmas.”

“Hey fangs do me a favor and open the damn red box already I'm getting real tired of your moping. Put up with that enough from Drac.”

“What?”

“Look behind you moron.”

Leech glanced behind her and saw a perfectly wrapped gift sitting in the center of the archway a balloon tied to it sitting unnaturally still in the dim light of the house.

“That motherfucker!” the vampire swore as she stood to pick up the package. It was impossibly light in her hands and there was a little tag hanging off the end. The nosferatu gently opened it and her scowl shifted into a warm smile

Me first Peachy.

It read in poor crimson handwriting with a smiling heart shaped balloon in the corner. The nosferatu’s un-beating heart was practically singing as she tore off the wrapping. She didn't even expect Pennywise to participate and yet he got her a gift! Leech lifted the lid and was flung backwards as something enormous sprung from the present like a giant demonic jack in the box. IT cackled with glee through its horrible rows of sharp teeth as it shot up almost too big to fit in the room. Leech scampered back in surprise and shock claws tearing into the couch as she screamed in reflex to being caught completely off guard.

“I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU” she yelled at the cackling clown that was swaying back and forth holding his sides. Behind her Freddy snorted joining in on the laughter and chris had fainted from shock. “That was fuckin amazing Jingles!” the dream demon shouted to the clown who couldn't stop his cackling.

“YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO GROW UP FATHERLESS CAUSE I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR RUFFLED ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHATEVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT OF YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF- whats this?” Leech began to scream at him but stopped when a huge box was presented to her, the fang filled grin on her clown growing even wider.

“Take iT!” the beast hissed.

“I don’t trust you anymore” Leech narrowed her eyes at him.

“Take iiiitttt!!!”

“If anything jumps out at me or bites me or screams at me I am not letting you have the second half of your present.”

“Mouth or ass Fangs?!” came a shout from the couch.

“FREDDY I SWEAR TO GOD! ……………….mouth….”

“Heh nice.”

Penny’s smile closed in realization “Wait ass is an option now?”

“We’re not going there.” Leech sighed not wanting to discuss THAT again with him. She opened the large case then quickly shut it. “PEN! This is a fucking guitar case!”

“Oh shit looks like Jingles is getting both tonight eh sweet lips?!” Freddy elbowed the dazed and traumatized human who was currently questioning every choice he had made in the last twenty four hours.

“I only had to threaten one person to get your gift” Penny smirked, finally climbing out of the small red box and shrinking back to what could be considered normal size. He shook himself a bit and begun to fix his hair “Your servant scares easy, I almost made a meal of him.” he snickered while twirling the top of his baby curl into place. “Well go on then play us a tune Peachy.” he grinned a little too satisfied with himself for Leech not to be suspicious.

Leech took the instrument out of its case and inspected it carefully. She certainly wasn't amazing at guitar but after traveling with a band for so long she picked up the ability to play a few songs. Her fingers ran up along the neck and brushed a small chain she quickly pulled her hand back in fear that it was another trick from the clown. Which it was judging from the excited grin on Penny’s face as his mate’s fingers traced solid gold chain.

Leech glanced up and glared at him. “What the fuck is this? Where the hell did you get this Pen?”

Pennywise placed his finger on her cool lips stopping the confused swearing from pouring from her mouth. The clown gave her a cheesy wink and with his other hand reached into his ruff. He gave a quick tug and plucked out an ancient tarnished silver bell which he presented to her in his palm not saying a word. Penny’s great blue eyes seared into hers in anticipation as Leech reached to take it but pulled her hand back with a hiss when the silver singed her skin. Pennywise seemed caught off guard then came to a realization swiping the gold chain from his mates hands. His large fingers closed around both objects and squeezed when he opened them the bell shined gold like his eyes before the kill. Pennywise fastened the bell to the necklace and held it up again this time with his signature goofy smile in place. “Pen seriously what is this?” Leech asked quietly now as she took the necklace and slipped it on.

“For you.” the clown grinned wider. “It’s part of me!”

“Just get married already!” Freddy yelled from the couch turning up the volume of the old tv.

“You motherfucker you know how I feel about sappy shit.” the nosferatu grinned twirling the bell in her fingers “Well? Go on get over here.” she smirked glancing up at him. Penny snaked his arms around his mate and held her against him “I hate you” the vampire mumbled into his costume rubbing her nose into his chest. “I hate you too.” Pennywise replied warmly he pulled her back and leaned in but Leech stopped his lips from pressing into hers.

“Hold that thought! I need to finally give you yours!”

“This is disgusting, were trying to watch a movie here!”

“Oh yeah says the guy who just moments ago was getting sucked off on my couch!” The vampire flipped Freddy’s hat off his head as she passed by him.

“At least we weren't doing any romcom crap!” He called after her

“You could always get out of my house.” the clown grumbled

“Nah I keep my bong here! Plus your sofa’s more comfortable than that victorian era piece of junk Drac has.”

“You people and your antique furniture. Ikea exists you know!” Chris grumbled.

“I’m cultivating eeriness human, also there better not be any stains Krueger.” Penny snarled.

“Like you'd be able to tell Jingles, this thing could probably get someone pregnant just by sitting on it…..wait is that what happened to you Fangs?”

Leech rolled her eyes at him while shoving her gift into Penny’s arms. “Freddy for once in your life just shut up.”

the clown clicked and rumbled tearing open the package with claws and teeth. then held the large frame out in front of him. “the derry circus!” he said excitedly and he viewed the poster. “featuring me!” he giggled with pride at the picture of his likeness grinning back at him and beckoning for someone to step closer.

“Had it custom done! Its not as amazing as what you gave me but I hope you like it.” Leech leaned back against the edge of the sofa behind her overly pleased with herself. Pennywise set the frame down and stalked forward pinning his mate against the couch with his hips long limbs wrapping around her. “You’ve given me plenty.” He grinned placing his large hand on her abdomen. “I didn't plan on that part.” the vampire smirked thumbing his ruffles in her fingers. “Comere asshole.” Leech hissed and pulled his ruffles. The clown leaned down and kissed her dipping her back so she could wrap her legs around him as he explored her mouth.

“Look I'm not complaining about the sex but this asshole’s about to swoop in and ruin Cindy Lou Hoo’s day and you two tend to get way too loud.”

Pennywise bit down on his mate’s lip then sunk his teeth into her neck bucking his hips sharply against her making Leech moan. “Ahhh! Penny!!” she shouted enthusiastically.

“I’m warning you Jingles if I miss the damn song I'm gonna be pissed!”

Penny clamped down harder and growled, loudly smacking Leech’s ass through her thin pajama shorts. The vampire hissed in response spurring her mate on to make deep lust filled vocalizations into her skin.

“FINE FUCK YOU THEN! Come on Chris if we hurry we can at least catch the ending.” the dream demon grumbled and yanked the human up who was eager to leave. A moment after their departure the vampires eyes flew open.

“Are they gone?” Leech panted claws running through her clowns hair. Penny grunted and retracted his fangs from her flesh. “Fuckin finally, the couch is ours!” she shouted hopping over the side. “I’m telling ya if I had to sit through The Grinch one more time this week I’d probably go postal.” Pennywise grumbled in agreement and stretched his back shaking himself out his after his spine made a series of loud pops and cracks. “That sounded terrible.” Leech commented thumbing through her movie collection.

“You kept me waiting in that box forever.”

“Aaawww does Pennywhine need a back rub?”

The impossibly tall monster leaned over the edge of the couch to glare at her. Leech grinned up at him and tapped him on the nose with a dvd sticking her tongue out to mock him. Penny snarled and lunged over the edge of the couch at her the two aggressively wrestling trying to pin the other against the sofa. Pennywise was on his way to victory as per-usual, when he saw his own eye color flash through Leech’s glossy blues. Suddenly his back was against the old couch claws pinned against the top his eyes narrowed at his captor.

“Using my offspring against me is cheating!” he snarled at her.

“Cheating? I call it leveling the playing field!” Leech scoffed. She planted an obnoxiously rough kiss on his lips and released him flopping over to the side and crossing her legs over the eldritch’s. The vampire picked up her white and black guitar and thumbed out a cheesy romantic christmas tune, softly singing aloud. Pennywise watched her for a moment taking note of the soft glow peeking out from under her shirt almost flashing to the rhythm of the music. She had a belly full of future dancing clowns. He smiled to himself, leaning back and shutting his eyes. In this moment things were absolutely perfect.

All until there was a honk and a banging at his front door.

--------------------------

Awww Pen’s so nice when he wants to be. 

[marinecorvid]

conclusions to be had after replaying 1/3 of a way through leafgreen:

first of all im having serious nostalgia emotions. it’s been so long since ive played lg and its to me like what unwavering emotions is to some people. depression? nonexistent im too busy playing pokemon

really like how you have to catch a certain number of pokemon to get Important Items (vs seeker, exp shares, etc), makes catching and evolving pokemon and not just blasting through the game worthwhile

vs seeker is just as awesome as i remember it and i’m infinitely pissed it didn’t continue as a concept. i dont wanna have to challenge the elite 4 + champion to exp farm for lower level pokemon

its rlly interesting to go back and see what movesets are like (limited, challenging but not bad) and how you have to balance out your mons

ALSO status effects can be gotten semi-regardless of type. you rlly need to work around slp and prlyz ALSO ALSO accuracy lowering moves will really fuck you up, aerial ace and swift are good moves to have

it also throws into comparison how like. non gimmicky so many are? like im not trying to be bitchy and im not a wild gen1-er but after seeing the leaks from sv and going back to the ogs it’s fun to see how many designs are believable “naturally occurring animals who are also made of and can control the elements” for example my blastoise is a giant blue turtle who is so fucking shaped. and at least 2/3 of the starters for the past few generations look like furbait.

not very hand holdy, i forgot how saffron city is closed off and if you want to get back and forth between places you have to brave the many tunnels around. you want important item? go walk through every door and talk to every person to find em

hms are kinda annoying in this incarnation. i dont mind the concept of hms as long as they’re like... at least a decent move that isn’t dead weight in battle (hackers that change hm moves into usable battle moves *chef kiss*)

i dont know if it’s the romhack i’m playing on but i have encountered numerous shinies that have not been on shiny-specific spots! like two shiny geodudes within 10 minutes of each other (and i consulted the pdf guide, not shinyzer spots) so idk if ultraviolet has increased shiny odds or if i have gotten extraordinarily lucky

blue is so funny he’s so rude but it’s always in a way that seems like he’s trying to look cool

the only reason i didn’t evolve eevee into umbreon is because umbreon’s gen 3 moveset is unfortunately ass >:(

soundtrack is creepy good!!! viridian forest, cave theme, lavender town

i am going to slam my head against the wall i need tms from the rocket game corner but they’re so expensive but you get the amulet coin AFTER going through multiple trainer dungeons

it’s super cool seeing starters with non-rival trainers!

[frozenvamps-moved]

I ramble about Warrior Cats

okay so everyones talkin about rewrites of the warrior cats series and i just wanted to give my two-cence on the ordeal.

okay so lets talk warrior cats; the childrens book series (+9) that every grown adult loves and has grown up with in their lifetime. But with the fandom, most people want to rewrite the series into a better version of what they are according to their mind.

Now hear me out, you dont need to keep reading after this point because its just gonna be a silly personal opinion of mine that i wish to voice in a somewhat public manor; so if you have different opinions and ideas thats totally fine! I’m not forcing you to have the same opinions as me just because I said so (which i didn’t) but please proceed with an open mind because im going to be making several points about different series and what they could’ve maybe improved on and tweaked, these series ranging from the first to the second expansion (maybe one day I’ll do POT and OMTS)  I will also be excluding the novellas and personal stories (ex. Mapleshade’s Vengance, Hollyleaf’s story, Dovewing’s silence) but, aside all that I’m just gonna go onto the main focus of this post:

If you’re still reading i’m just goint to start off with one of the first books we see of warrior cats released in 2005.

THE PROPHECY BEGINS

The prophecy begins is one of the first series we manage to get a glimpse of from a wild cat’s perspective, the hunger and pain of living in the wild with faint traces of usurping, ambition and plenty of malicious intent (some examples are: Tigerclaws plan with the dogs, Scourge’s attempt to take over the forest, The Cinderpelt accident.)

What’s wrong with it:

Firestar in general: he is too overpowered in this series, he has the background of one of the most clique character stereotype I've ever seen in my life. The unlikely hero stereotype is what surrounded him ever since he was first introduced. He was a prophecy cat and before even joining the clan, he had already been promised a future of gold and luxury. This completely spoils his character for me, I think if he had not been given a prophecy and had just been accepted into the clans, he would have proved himself to be a great warrior and skilled leader in time to come in future. Lucky, throughout the other three series, he takes a backseat to let other main characters shine through.

“ They’re called Shadowclan, so they must be evil! “: This is a really petty and kind of... fustrating entry but its needed, i know this was back in the days of were youth culture could name a character “shadowstealer” and say that its acceptable but you have got to be kidding me with this, for all we know, we could’ve had riverclan villains. But no, we have to have murderface brokenstar and his kitstealing posse be the main villians for over three books.

Cross-clan/illegal relationships: This is a very common theme in these books for some odd reason, for the most part, they’re fine but these relationships or intrests just spark from completely nowhere. These kind of relationships range from the cross-clan lovers silverstream and graystripe to some very randomly fit intrests such as spottedleaf and firepaw.

While these are only a handful of examples of what was wrong with this bookset; I must give credit where it is most certainly due. 

What was good about it:

It made realistic characters and the way they acted was extremely supportive of this fact: when I say realistic, i mean, as realistic as a book about civilised  cats with catdoctors and catgods can get. Some of the characters in this series where so believable and I was knocked with emotions while reading these books. Silverstream’s death hit so hard that I could almost feel graystripe’s heartbreak, another example would be when Bluestar was starting crack down after being betrayed, she was getting old for a cat lifespan and was experiencing emotions she, herself, couldn’t control.

Death scenes where well thought out and complimented the characters: by this im mainly refering to Bluestar and Yellowfang to name a few; Yellowfang died beside the cat that basically saved her life when she was banished from shadowclan from falsely accused murder, telling him how he wished he was her son instead of the murderer and damned Brokenstar. Bluestar, on the other hand died beside the kits she had to give up only a few moons after they were born so she could save her clan from a future of bloodshed and choas.

as a summary, The Prophecy Begins is one of the series that are higher on the scale of the good and bad scale, there are many things wrong with these books, but overall, it’s a good read and it keeps the reader hooked on the edge of their seats on some moments. 

THE NEW PROPHECY

The new Prophecy is based around the ideals of being a good person and doing the right thing to help others. We have moved onto the next generation of main characters: Firestar’s offspring who have special sister powers. In these books they are mainly based around the mountain journeying cats: Stormfur, Feathertail, Brambleclaw, Squirrelpaw, Tawnypelt and a really moody version of crowpaw.

What’s wrong with it:

The characters are all common sterotypes of a genre: Brambleclaw is Tigerstar’s son, so his sterotype is the typical “if his father was evil, hes probably evil too”. Squrrielpaw is the young and attractive bitchy character you’d expect to see in the heathers and everyone’s attracted to her (brambleclaw, ashfur and stormfur were attracted to her at the time for no real reason). Stormfur and Feathertail are the generic siblings who are honestly trying their best, Crowpaw is an edgy teenager because its cold in the mountains and he hates everything and everyone around him and Tawnypelt just wants to go home already, shes so sick of everyone.

The sister power is absolutely useless: This power between them is only used for this arc, and the only reason they really use it is so the story can progess without having to explain how and why leafpaw knew everything squrrielpaw was thinking and doing. It’s basically like telepathic eavesdropping and oh man was it so boring to read.

Although this series was a tough read, there are positives to every bad story, even if theres more than a handful.

What was good about it:

The setting of the story balances out the characters nicely: The setting of having to move somewhere from where you normally are struck home. It’s weird to live somewhere for basically your entire life and have to then give that up because someone is destroying your homes and all the memories you had made there. This was much more apparent in some of the older characters such as Cinderpelt, Firestar and Graystripe, which bought them some well needed screen time here and there.

Sadly that’s the only positive I can think of at the minute for this arc, but I will most likely revisit it in future, as for a final review of it: it was quite boring to read and I had trouble finding time to just sit down and read it with enough time. It’s not bad but it’s...... certainly not that great either. I would reccomending it to read though.

[alinkbetweenportraits]

(First off I dropped the ball and because I was so tired I accidentally deleted the ask. The good news is I took a screenshot earlier to show a friend so she could translate it for me in my moment of stupid. Sorry about that.)

How to let go of an RP Partner

RPers are people. And it’s a fact of life that no matter how close you are to someone, eventually things are going to change. Sometimes they get bored, sometimes they lose the muse, sometimes the relationship conditions change between partners, sometimes people get married, have kids, find a job, and just move on from the RPing scene. Fuck man, some of my past RP friends passed away for various reasons. This is usually why I tell people not to take their partners for granted. Someday it’s going to end and you’ll at least want to end it on the best note possible. In your case, however, it doesn’t sound like you’re going to get that anymore if you keep pestering them. To be frank, you’re going to make them regret their decision if you keep pushing them into RPing with you.

But there’s good news in all of this. Things aren’t entirely hopeless for you or anyone who really wants things to change for the better. Assuming you’re a rational adult that’s just stuck in a really distressing situation, here’s usually the things I tell people to do. 

1.) Recognize where it went wrong. And really, really think about this one. In your case, do you feel like utter shit for what you did to your friend? Do you regret hurting them? Good. Yeah, I know, that’s a bitchy thing to say, But it’s the truth. Feeling like this is a critical step to understanding your faults and making a real change. If you want things to get better in the future, you can’t fall for the same mistakes you made before. You have to be willing to listen and take criticism better if you want to hope for any relief. Not everyone ends on a bitter note, though. Maybe they just don’t feel the character anymore or their situation changed, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s RPing. You shouldn’t need a grand excuse to not play along. Your friend most likely doesn’t hate you. If she was kind enough to offer forgiveness after an apology, chances are she wants to let go just as much as you. But she may just need some space to heal and manage on her own. This is a critical time for RPers who have had particularly jarring instances like this. Please try to understand that sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all. The damage is done and unfortunately, you can’t take it back.

2.) Show you respect their decision to be left alone and work to detach yourself. When we’re particularly close to an RP partner or group, we find it hard to move on and write on our own accord. You may have headcanons, memories, personal work, even entire characters that revolve around the other. After some time, it becomes harder and harder to let go. This is the point where I usually recommend people start cleaning up. Take some time to tear things down and build yourself back up. If you have head canons that revolve around that person, try to adjust it so the character stands on their own. Your character is still a character even if they were made to know the other. They’re still entirely capable of being their own unique individual. Do you have any art or original work from the other person featured on your blog? Store it all away in a file on your computer (preferably a separate flashdrive) and try to remove what you can on your blog. Stow it away in a place where you won’t instantly run into it the moment you sit on your computer or open your files. Try taking some time to look at your blog and characters and see if it’s unique to you and you alone. Whatever you do, don’t post any more of the other person’s material from here on out. This will only cause more strife in the future. Nobody will blame you for using face claims, youtube playlists, or anything instant access if it means saving your mental health. 

But Clara! Why would I save these things if they make me feel so awful? Isn’t that kind of creepy and masochistic?

Well, that depends. Of course, not all memories are worth saving. If there are things you feel are personal attacks to your character, such as call out posts, public statements, or anything you feel is humiliating to your self esteem or the other person in question, it’s best to leave these things in the trash. It’s also not healthy to constantly look back and post about it, lest you turn your RP blog into a stalker’s shrine. However, there’s a positive kind of emotional pain, one that typically comes with grief. Speaking from personal experience and watching people go through the same mess, it usually takes about a month to three months to really feel the effects of recovery after having to lose an RP partner. But time depends on your relationship with the other, how close you were with them, and how the relationship ended. When done on a healthy level, it’s okay to recall where you and your muse learned how to become better people together. There’s no shame in acknowledging your mistakes in the past so long as your present self understands this and is willing to learn from it. It’s okay to feel sad, hurt, or lonely. Even if people dismiss it as just a game, RPing can become very personal between people.

Cutting off people entirely is something I only suggest as a last resort in order to protect yourself and people around you. Doing this will not ease the grief process. If anything, it proves to make things far more complicated and difficult. Once you start, it’s something that’s very difficult to take back. I only suggest doing this if you feel the following:

- You have been emotionally, mentally, physically, or sexually exploited by your last RP partner. 

- You feel that this person will try to reach out to you outside of the internet.

- You feel this person puts yourself and everyone around you at risk both physically and emotionally.

- This person admits to actively participating in harmful and/or illegal activities that could get you hurt as a result.

- This person is blackmailing you and threatens to publicly release this private information unless you comply to their demands.

3.) Reach out to new RPers. This is a very scary step for a lot of people, especially if you don’t find yourself very good at socializing and just went through a time where you got a good look at the worst in yourself. But take comfort in knowing that if you realize where you dropped the ball in the last relationship and took steps to improve, you’re better than ever. And if you made a friendship that memorable as your past self, why can’t you do it again? Often times we feel we need to put up a front in order to meet new people and appeal to a certain audience. However, nothing is more personal and intimate than sharing your writing, art, or ideas with other people. It’s important to be honest with the other person and yourself before you can establish any sort of genuine connection. 

It’s okay to message or IM someone asking for an RP. Be upfront, but not bossy. Ask if it’s okay with them to give the idea a shot. Listen to what the other has to say. If you see any streaming events or discord chat rooms, try to join in and introduce yourself politely while also asking for names. Know that very rarely do opportunities simply fall on your lap conveniently and that a majority of RPers are self admitted dorks who just want to have fun, too. Whatever you do, though, don’t start clinging to these RPers for emotional support on the first day. This can be emotionally exhausting and put a ton of unnecessary pressure on another. You must also learn how to manage on your own.

4.) Never forget that as bad as it gets, it’s not the end. Let me tell you a story. My last RP group went to shit really fast. People didn’t trust one another, a whole group became divided, and because the game didn’t allow an equal balance between high experience and new RPers, it wasn’t rare for people to start abusing their power, making it nearly impossible for more timid and new players to start joining. Since I was new, it was incredibly frustrating to play the game. Add to the fact that a lot of these guys were red blooded authors (some of whom already published or are working on books), it wasn’t very welcoming to someone who was young and mostly dicked around in private IM RPs. Needless to say, I was way out of my league. Rules were broken or bent, and I became so frustrated with people stopping and correcting me every step of the way but ignoring their own rules as the game moved on. RPing made me severely anxious, and I’ve had my OCs verbally ripped to shreds right in front of my eyes. I hated going online and my self esteem and overall mental and physical health plummeted to levels I didn’t think were possible. I won’t act like I’m a victim, though. Because I was angry I did things to intentionally hurt other people. I lashed out a lot, and chances are I did more damage than was necessary even considering what had happened at the time. So those same group of people. Where are they now?

We chill out, talk about cartoons, and gush about our OCs or favorite characters.

Yeah. After all the shitty things that happened, we managed to get along again, though this time I avoid the game itself and just RP freestyle. So what does this mean for you? It means that relationships are bound to change, but just because someone doesn’t want to RP anymore doesn’t also mean time can’t make a big impact. Maybe you’ll learn to stand on your own two feet having met new RPers and friends, maybe you and your partner wouldn’t mind at least being on friendlier terms again. It’s hard to say what will happen in the future, but you must always remember you are never defined by your past. What matters is did you learn anything from your mistake and how you decide to act on your newfound wisdom. 

[intothespideyverses]

what I imagine going down next season (as a result of everything that happened in sesson 3) warning for discussion of suicide/self-harm:

SHINY

-ok since the whole sex subplot was never really resolved (they SAID they talked but we didnt see shit so) I think this would be a good time to introduce ace!Shay. Now another part of me would also like for shiny to have sex just so esme could stop fucking with m'daughter's head but shay seemed way too opposed to the idea of sex in general (and not in a nervous way, but in a "why would I ever have sex?" kinda way). And maybe once Shay's comfortable with being ace she can just deck esme right in the nose idc idc idc she had it coming! Fuck a $230 skirt bih! Tiny would be weirded out and probably disappointed at first but bc he���s literally the perfect bf he'd come around eventually. Hopefully they could highlight that there are ways to be intimate in a relationship w/o having sex. I just want shiny happiness and for people (lola up until she apologized, esme) to stop going out of their way to make shay feel so insecure and then getting mad at her when she reacts to their bs.

-speaking of which as much as I hate to see her miserable I think shay needs an angsty storyline. She solves her problems so quickly and efficiently, we never even see the emotions she must be going through. i don’t think her being ace would cause her too much stress, she'd do her research for a bit, have a fight with tiny about it (maybe even suggest to keep the relationship open, which would offend tiny) but other than that the real source of angst would come from esme. lets say esme finds out, y’all already know she would never let shay hear the end of it. that, on top of esme being EVERYWHERE and the two of them competing to be both the smartest and most athletic girl in school, would probably really get to shay's psyche. maybe esme goes too far one day, and shay just says fuck it and throws hands?? or maybe she breaks her phone?? idk something rly impulsive bc shay doesn't normally make impulsive decisions. of course esme makes shay out to be the irrational one and shay tries to quit the track team, her grades start slipping, etc etc. esme gets bored without having someone to compete against, or maybe she notices the change in shay's demeanor (and bc of maya’s suicide attempt and her mom) is afraid she pushed shay over the edge. they talk after class one day, esme still being bitchy but by the end a little teary eyed. I think their talk would be reminiscent of anya and holly j in season 8?? 9?? where anya was all like "why are you so mean to me" and hj's like "bc u let me bitch :)" so esme CLEARLY isn't gonna take any real responsibility for bullying shay but shay decides that shes NOT gonna be the bigger person for once. Idk how this would end but I definitely want shay to be more confident by the end, and for esme to learn when to stand down.

-Tiny's line about shay just seeing him as a "good nerd boy" rly stuck out to me. How much does shay know about tiny's past?? This definitely has to be brought up at some point, and I really thought the show would've mentioned that but w/e. Shay probably knows SOMETHING about the gang stuff but not how far it goes, or his family, etc. Tiny has an image that he keeps from everyone else but saves only for shay, which is adorable (they have boggle ((is that like scrabble???)) dates...need me a freak like that) but at some point shays gonna have to see the rest of him. Tiny is tired of shay assuming so much about his intentions too. That and shay not wanting sex period will (in my vision for s4) definitely be the biggest conflicts for shiny, but they'll work through them quickly bc unlike every other couple on this show they actually know how to communicate :)

-also how does tiny feel about the crash?? he looked all the way fucked up when they rushed him into the hospital so...he has to have some sorta trauma from that come on now

TRILES/MOLA

-this is gonna be messy lol. triles and mola are two very polarizing ships so we already kno theres gonna be some mess once tristans back at school. tristan may have been all "okay w/e idc" at the play but we all know once his petty ass is able to speak he's gonna go out of his way to make lolas life living hell. its truly gonna be slutshaming for days, and lets not forget the biphobia. he wont really direct any anger at miles, except tight-lipped quickly concealed bitterness. i can already picture these scenes yall like this is literally what is gonna happen WATCH.

-miles is of course gonna still feel guilty about the whole knocking her up thing, and he rly does love her and values her friendship (their friendship was so cute) so he's gonna want to keep hanging out with her (it’ll start off with just checking up on her every now and then like craig after manny’s abortion, but it’ll grow to miles getting an actual job at lola’s, etc). tristan will be okay with this on the surface but as soon as he and lola are alone (maybe tris is @ the hollingsworth household while lolas there for frankie or hell even miles and miles leaves to get some snacks or something) tristan just lays into her!! on some "you were NOTHING to him" shit. on some "you tried to trap him with a baby" shit!! some “he never loved you, just pitied you” shit!!!! and then tris is all back to smiles the second miles comes back. lola’s on the verge of tears but keeps this to herself cause she doesnt want to start drama so soon after tristan coming back and bc she loves miles too much etc etc. miles of course eventually finds out, and he and tris have the fight of the century where it ALL comes out.

-now I just read a list of PERFECT mola headcanons (by @beach-city-mystery-girl!) that should definitely happen throughout the season! idk if triles will stay together or if mola becomes official but at some point someones gonna be all "make. a. DECISION" at miles so!!

-lola should also find value in being alone and being comfortable with herself. she and yael become genuine friends (bc she needs someone outside of frankie and shay and miles) and form a weird almost symbiotic relationship where they give each other advice on things the other lacks. baaz flips between trying to flirt with her and making insensitive comments about her abortion. lola finally sets him straight for once and for all. 

-maybe something goes down at the restaurant? idk I just started caring about lola’s existence yesterday idk how this goes

-I think frankie eventually finds out that miles and lola hooked up, idk how but she does and she’s not happy about it yikes.

-actually after just reading another great post (by tristanmiligay), a lot of tristan’s insecurities could also lie in the fact that he’s disabled now. maybe miles rly wants to get tris up on his feet again and do something FUN and EXCITING but homeboi literally just got out of a coma and can’t make it, so I can see miles asking lola to go instead (like maybe its a couples thing and he already reserved it or w/e) and that kinda sets tristan off the first time. he’ll probably try to force himself to heal faster, maybe even injuring himself further in the process? he’s gonna have a lot of self-doubt and internalized ableism like the post said :/, and all of that is gonna manifest in hate for lola. 

ZASHA/GRONAH (is that what we're calling it??) 

-okay so this section is kinda tied into the maya section and rly just centered around grace so yeah. but thats mainly bc there wont rly be any drama between zasha (except like normal preparing for college type stuff, like zoe wants to go to some rly good school far away and rasha wants to stay in toronto bc she just got there).

-zoe's pretending to be fine with getting kicked out but its absolutely destroying her on the inside. she and her mom were so close despite everything. zoe starts going thru mad identity issues bc everything about her was sculpted by her mom. if shes not in her life anymore then who is she? she keeps replaying "i love you despite who you are" in her head and its killing her. she sometimes sneaks out of grace's room at night and leaves voice messages on her moms phone (which ms. Rivas never responds to) and ends every night crying on the couch. grace grows super concerned for her but has no idea how to balance both helping maya out and helping zoe. one day at school grace tries to confront zoe about the voicemails but zoe brushes it off and says something cute like "being with rasha makes it all worth it" but grace is still like 👀.

-grace then moves on to trying to help maya but maya is sick and tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her and she tells grace shes fine and that she needs to back off, but grace knows somethings still off. later that day she spots zoe in the student council office trying to call her mom and leaving an angry voicemail, ripping mama rivas to shreds!! "you were never a good mother, a mother who cant love her own daughter shouldnt even be having kids, i hate you, go to hell" type of shit. at the last minute she realizes she doesnt mean half of that (or she does mean it but that scares her) and tries to backtrack but by then the voicemail's already been sent. zoe starts freaking out and crying again and leaves another one like "im sorry I didnt mean any of that please just let me come back. Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry" like just saying sorry over and over again, and grace finally steps in like "sorry for the voicemail or sorry for being gay?" and confronts zoe again. zoe tries to get the attention off of her by asking about maya and grace is like "she's 'fine' just like how you're 'fine'. cut the bs binch" or whatever and zoe breaks all the way down, but before grace can comfort her she sees maya and esme fighting outside the office and she runs out to stop it. zoe, now that shes alone and still crying, contemplates self harming again (im gonna end this here cause this is long enough I deadass would write this whole episode if I could)

-anyway juggling between her upcoming surgery, college apps, and two lowkey suicidal best friends, grace is stressed tf out. this is where gronah steps in lol. i dont care much about jonah but i do know hes much more interesting and likeable when he's with grace. he gives her advice and shit and they go on a bunch of golfing dates, grace maybe takes him to yoga or something, they help each other with college apps, and well gronah happens! jonah basically goes from boring to manic pixie dream boy who tries to show grace that life is worth living and blah blah yall know the drill

-rasha needs a plot outside of zoe and i think her pursuing acting could be a thing!! she goes out to casting calls but every director says something along the line of "we just...envisioned someone else for the role" or "we dont rly think you'd...fit" bc shes muslim and then the one time she gets picked up for a student film, its about a terrorist attack and rasha doesnt realize until she shows up to rehearsal. she goes off on the director (and reminds her that most terrorist attacks are domestic lol) and runs off to goldi and they talk. maybe she tries to write her own webseries (probably with the help of winston) and it becomes a hit!! maybe we could have a probably cheesy as hell famous youtuber plot (and vijay gets jealous lol) and they have some sorta subscriber war where everyones taking sides. baaz, yael, and hunter try to sabotage rasha's show and bc our girl loves scheming she hits them back even harder :).

-also maybe we find out what happens to her friend back in syria? i dont want her to have too many depressing plots so maybe her friend is okay physically but not mentally and she has to deal with that :(

MAYA

-so like I already said maya's done with everyone bullshitting her and being overbearingly nice, so she starts closing herself off. this just makes everyone even more worried tho, so she forces herself back into music and her studies. grace and jonah are all over her, zig always looks guilty as fuck and treats her like a baby, miles forgot she existed but if they pass each other in the hall he'll ask how shes doing, zoe hugs her randomly one day, and esme...esmes the worst one. she starts lowkey stalking maya and its getting on her last nerve.

-she avoids saad like the plague at first, but eventually realizes that he's the only person who doesnt treat her any differently (or so she thinks). they go to the roof one day (cause that shit is never locked no matter how many suicide attempts happened up there) to talk things out, and saad completely switches gears. "what were you thinking??? why would you do that???" type of stuff. maya gets mad at him talks shit about his pictures maybe, idk. saad reminds her that its a coping mechanism after everything that happened in syria, maybe he says he once contemplated too?? idk all the ideas I have are depressing moving on

-one day maya explodes on everyone after she dissapears for a bit (umm maybe she was chosen to perform a song at a school event but, after hearing some girls talking about her suicide attempt in the bathroom, she decides to ditch) bc everyone (grace, jonah, zig, esme, zoe maybe) gang up on her to check if shes okay. she goes off, saying "none of you cared before i tried to kill myself so why care now?" and idk where I was going with this, I want maya happiness and closure but idk how to get there smh.

-uhh she finds hoot! she goes home after school and finds hoot stuffed in the back of her closet. she writes a bittersweet song and after a long talk with her mom, decides to call grace. maybe grace invites her over for a sleepover?? and zoe and maya can finally have a real conversation since The Incident too! Also grace can kinda kill 2 birds with one stone.

FRANKIE'S ANNOYING ASS

-I cant stand this child but shes the writers' baby so she'll get at least 5 main plots next season oh my god. My wishful thinking speaking, but maybe she'll learn its okay to be alone and finally learn to like herself! Hopefully she sees the value in sticking to the sidelines and helping her friends through their issues. Ooh, maybe she learns how to be a good ally after gorillagate and educates her brothers on why their many intolerances are wrong (lbr here, hunter probably uses "triggered" as an insult and continues to call all the refugees "scary", same with miles) BUT come on this is degrassi :) so the writers are probably gonna throw in a new male character for frankie to obsess over. Well, either a newbie or someone completely random thats already in the cast like fucking baaz or saad.

Z*SME

-zig and esme spend a lot of their time obsessing over maya I think, esme bc she sees her mom in maya and zig bc he feels like he made her do it. umm noah fence but i dont rly care about these two so thats all I got lol

if anyone has any specific headcanon requests I’d love some!

[trendingnewsb]

Mother’s Day Gift Guide: Gifts For The Regular Mom, The Cool Mom & Everyone In Between

What greater holiday is there than a day that celebrates the strong, beautiful women who raised us? Go ahead, try to think of one, Ill wait. 4th of July you say? Okay. Anyway, Mothers Day really does serve as a reminder that we should be really really nice to all the moms in our lives because we too may be mothers some day and we dont want a bitchy daughter who doesnt appreciate us.  So its good karma to get them a gift, right?  A betchs mom is the most important lady in her life. Shes given us endless words of wisdom on fuckboys, shes reluctantly allowed us to borrow steal her clothes, and she always picked us up from school when we were feeling sick.  Shes molded us into the betch we are today, and for that we are forever grateful.  To show her how much you love her, were giving you a list of all our favorite brands/gift ideas that are perfect for every type of mom in your life. Welcome to the Betches Mother’s Day Gift Guide 2017.

FOR THE MOM WHO STILL GRABS CANDY FOR HERSELF AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER

Hats off to this mom, she still answers to her sugar cravings and DGAF. Elevate her candy standards with Sugarfinas Sweetest Mom Candy Bento Box and watch it disappear within 20 minutes of her opening it. If shes into the juicing craze like any betchy mom, feel free to gift her a bottle of Pressed Juicery x Sugarfinas green juice gummy bears. Its the perfect candy she can eat while convincing herself that shes healthy AF. These are the chicest and yummiest candies ever, and Im sure this mom wont mind if you steal a few for yourselfmaybe

FOR THE ZEN AF MOM YOU CAN ALWAYS VENT TO

This mom is amazing because she has the patience to listen to us talk shit about irrelevant shit for hours and somehow make us feel 10 times better in the end. Philosophy is a fave brand of ours, not just because of their amazing products, but also because of their values. Its the wellness brand version of the mom who always sends you inspirational articles and makes sure you never leave the house without food in your stomach. To reward this woman for putting up with your crazy ass, give her the Moments of Grace boxthe perfect set of shower, fragrance, and moisturizing products.

FOR THE MOM WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME (AND WONT LET YOU EAT ON THE COUCH)

This mom might have come off as a little strict and slightly neurotic due to her strict house rules you lived under as a young betch, but you now understand it was all worth it for the image of a perfect home. Shes classy, shes elegant, and shes not afraid to tell you to fuck off when you deserve it. Giving her a Venus Et Fleur box is not just giving her clich flowers for Mothers Day, its giving her a centerpiece for her precious home. These are the most beautiful flowers and they last for an entire year. There are several colors to choose from so you can def find one to match the living room couch. PS, theyre having a pop-up shop at Saks specifically for Mothers Day, so go with your siblings and get her the most Instagrammable flowers ever.

FOR THE MOM WHO WANTS TO BE INA GARTENS BEST FRIEND

This mom spends half her life watching the Food Network and the other half begging her husband to agree to redoing the kitchen. As such, she takes great pride in all her kitchen essentials, and each time you come home theres a new blender or toaster. Although you have barely any space for a wooden spoon in your apartments kitchen and deem it acceptable to microwave water for your tea, this mom would rather be caught dead than without at least 25 different spatula options. Cuisinart is the perfect place to find the best and newest kitchen products that this mom will die over, like the QuicKettle and the PrepExpress. If you get her any of their products, I foresee massive amounts of free food in your future.

FOR THE MOM WHOS NOT AFRAID TO BLACK OUT AT FAMILY DINNERS

This mom is always invited to hang with you and your friends whenever shes in town. As a betch who can single-handedly create a party out of thin air, her Mothers Day gift needs to suit her hostess needs. Kim Crawford Wine is the perfect bottle to whip out on any given occasion, and with summer around the corner, it is officially ros season. Their website has tons of amazing recipes, including fros, sothis mom will def exploit a bottle of Kim Crawford ros for all its worth. If she also happens to be an Insta whore, were sorry in advance.

FOR THE MOM WHO GIFTED YOU YOUR WITTY SENSE OF HUMOR

This mom has passed on her good genes of having no filter and always has the entire family in tears at Thanksgiving dinner (like, the good kind). We were always afraid of what kind of backhanded bitchy comment she might make at our frenemies when we were younger, but we loved her anyway and secretly enjoyed it. If shes begging you not to get her anything this year, at least get her the perfect card from Shop Betches.

FOR THE MOM WHOS PUTTING OFF BOTOX FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE

This mom has had perfect skin her entire life and is now in overdrive doing everything she can to keep it that way.  Washing her face isnt just something she does a couple times a day, its now an insane obsession. To make sure this mom is getting the most out of her incessant face cleansing, get her the Soniclear brush from Michael Todd Beauty. The antimicrobial brush stays cleaner and fresher for longer, and cleans deep into your pores.  Lets be real, youre probs going to get one for yourself as well. Also, since shes probs big into blending, you should get her the Sonicblend brush to apply her makeup flawlessly.

FOR THE MOM WHO WON’T LET YOU ANYWHERE NEAR HER KITCHEN

This mom has a panic attack whenever there’s too many people in the kitchen (which for the most part means if there’s anyone in there besides her). She’s a firm believer in “a place for everything and everything in its place”, which as a betch you can only relate to on the level of your apartment’s bar cart.  Joseph Joseph has the perfect modern organizational kitchen shit that will perfectly encourage this mom’s obsessive compulsive habits, but at least the kitchen will look sleek AF so who cares. We love their Nesting Bowl Sets and their super chic Worktop Savers.

FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP WITH HER IPAD ON HER FACE

This mom can’t get enough of her Facebook feed and loves to send you videos of dogs at all hours of the night. She probably thinks she’s squinting at all her screens because she’s old, but really it’s because no ones eyes should not be staring at this shit all day. Felix Gray glasses are v trendy-looking and protect your eyes from the blue light emitted from all our electronics’ screens, so mom won’t have to fight through the headaches to continue scrolling through Insta anymore. Our offices fan favorites are the Turing and Nash frames.

FOR THE MOM WHO JUICED BEFORE IT WAS COOL

This mom has been a juice drinking yoga freak since before you were born, and she’s always looking for new ways to show the world that she’s healthier and has more of her shit together than anyone else. Daily Harvest delivers fresh soups, smoothies, chia parfaits and overnight oats to your door on your schedule. This way, mom can get her fav smoothies delivered at 3pm just in time for her to consume before her 5pm spin class. If you didn’t think eating healthy could be convenient, neither did we, but here we are.

FOR THE MOM WHO HAS EVERYTHING YOU NEVER KNEW YOU NEEDED

This mom may seem like a hoarder, but in reality she’s just a collector of random shit that will impress people. Totally different. Also, we are not ones to talk about hoarding as evidenced by our closets. Anyway, Tovolo is the perfect place to shop for this mom because while it’s super fun for us to look through all the fun kitchen gadgets they have, it will be that much more fun for her because she’ll know exactly what to do with whatever you get her. “OMG, skull ice molds?! This will be perfect for Debbie’s divorce party!”  We love their Clear Ice System and Stainless Steel Cocktail Shaker.

FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS LOSES SHIT

As a young mom, this one relied on her children to remind her of her dentist appointments or whenever she accidentally left the stove on. Though shes the most scatter-brained person you know, shes so lovable youve never (really) faulted her for it. Plus, her lack of having her shit together taught you how to be a proactive, multitasking betch. To make this moms life a little easier as her brain is only getting worse with age (sorry but its true), get her Tile for Mothers Day so you never have to get another phone call about her missing keys again. All she has to do is attach the little Tile to whatever it is she loses every day and connect it to her phone through Bluetooth and voil, when she needs to find either thing she can make em ring (I did not do that on purpose but I apologize).

FOR THE MOM WHO REALLY WANTS TO LOSE 3 POUNDS BUT HATES THE GYM

This mom might sound very familiar because she is all of us. She would much rather spend an hour at book club talking shit than hitting the gym, but the thought of showing up to Southampton for the summer in her current state is freaking her out. Do her a favor and buy her HUM Nutritions Skinny Bird, a natural weight loss supplement. If youre feeling really generous, they also have a Turn Back Time supplement that helps with skin cell protection. Time to pop some pills!

FOR THE BRAND NEW MOM

This mom has been MIA because she is now with child and a real human and also struggling to get more than 4 hours of sleep at night. Brighten up her day by getting her little Betch In Training a baby onesie from Shop Betches.

FOR THE MOM WHO IS ALWAYS ON THE GO

This mom has always been your business betch inspiration, as youve admired her for balancing her work and home life so well. Despite being super important at her company, she somehow found the time to proofread all your high school papers and prepped you for every job interview youve ever had.  Soap & Glory is the perfect cheeky and empowering cosmetic brand that this mom absolutely NEEDS in her life. Since shes always running from mandatory family breakfast to business meeting, get her some of our favorites like their Rushower Dry Shampoo and their Hand Food hydrating hand cream.

FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS KEEPS IT SIMPLE

This mom is a woman of few words, but always knows what to say. You can find her in the yoga studio in the morning and hosting a charity dinner party by night. Shes the one who taught you that doing things for others is like, important. Not one for flashy things but a lover of the arts, this mom would love a piece from Adam Marc Jewelry. Our favorite pieces are the Kim Star Choker and the Rafaeli 14k Gold Bar Necklace. Use code BETCHES20 for 20% offyour mom will never have to know you didn’t pay full price.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2qVMVNL

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Mother’s Day Gift Guide: Gifts For The Regular Mom, The Cool Mom & Everyone In Between

What greater holiday is there than a day that celebrates the strong, beautiful women who raised us? Go ahead, try to think of one, Ill wait. 4th of July you say? Okay. Anyway, Mothers Day really does serve as a reminder that we should be really really nice to all the moms in our lives because we too may be mothers some day and we dont want a bitchy daughter who doesnt appreciate us.  So its good karma to get them a gift, right?  A betchs mom is the most important lady in her life. Shes given us endless words of wisdom on fuckboys, shes reluctantly allowed us to borrow steal her clothes, and she always picked us up from school when we were feeling sick.  Shes molded us into the betch we are today, and for that we are forever grateful.  To show her how much you love her, were giving you a list of all our favorite brands/gift ideas that are perfect for every type of mom in your life. Welcome to the Betches Mother’s Day Gift Guide 2017.

FOR THE MOM WHO STILL GRABS CANDY FOR HERSELF AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER

Hats off to this mom, she still answers to her sugar cravings and DGAF. Elevate her candy standards with Sugarfinas Sweetest Mom Candy Bento Box and watch it disappear within 20 minutes of her opening it. If shes into the juicing craze like any betchy mom, feel free to gift her a bottle of Pressed Juicery x Sugarfinas green juice gummy bears. Its the perfect candy she can eat while convincing herself that shes healthy AF. These are the chicest and yummiest candies ever, and Im sure this mom wont mind if you steal a few for yourselfmaybe

FOR THE ZEN AF MOM YOU CAN ALWAYS VENT TO

This mom is amazing because she has the patience to listen to us talk shit about irrelevant shit for hours and somehow make us feel 10 times better in the end. Philosophy is a fave brand of ours, not just because of their amazing products, but also because of their values. Its the wellness brand version of the mom who always sends you inspirational articles and makes sure you never leave the house without food in your stomach. To reward this woman for putting up with your crazy ass, give her the Moments of Grace boxthe perfect set of shower, fragrance, and moisturizing products.

FOR THE MOM WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A HOUSE A HOME (AND WONT LET YOU EAT ON THE COUCH)

This mom might have come off as a little strict and slightly neurotic due to her strict house rules you lived under as a young betch, but you now understand it was all worth it for the image of a perfect home. Shes classy, shes elegant, and shes not afraid to tell you to fuck off when you deserve it. Giving her a Venus Et Fleur box is not just giving her clich flowers for Mothers Day, its giving her a centerpiece for her precious home. These are the most beautiful flowers and they last for an entire year. There are several colors to choose from so you can def find one to match the living room couch. PS, theyre having a pop-up shop at Saks specifically for Mothers Day, so go with your siblings and get her the most Instagrammable flowers ever.

FOR THE MOM WHO WANTS TO BE INA GARTENS BEST FRIEND

This mom spends half her life watching the Food Network and the other half begging her husband to agree to redoing the kitchen. As such, she takes great pride in all her kitchen essentials, and each time you come home theres a new blender or toaster. Although you have barely any space for a wooden spoon in your apartments kitchen and deem it acceptable to microwave water for your tea, this mom would rather be caught dead than without at least 25 different spatula options. Cuisinart is the perfect place to find the best and newest kitchen products that this mom will die over, like the QuicKettle and the PrepExpress. If you get her any of their products, I foresee massive amounts of free food in your future.

FOR THE MOM WHOS NOT AFRAID TO BLACK OUT AT FAMILY DINNERS

This mom is always invited to hang with you and your friends whenever shes in town. As a betch who can single-handedly create a party out of thin air, her Mothers Day gift needs to suit her hostess needs. Kim Crawford Wine is the perfect bottle to whip out on any given occasion, and with summer around the corner, it is officially ros season. Their website has tons of amazing recipes, including fros, sothis mom will def exploit a bottle of Kim Crawford ros for all its worth. If she also happens to be an Insta whore, were sorry in advance.

FOR THE MOM WHO GIFTED YOU YOUR WITTY SENSE OF HUMOR

This mom has passed on her good genes of having no filter and always has the entire family in tears at Thanksgiving dinner (like, the good kind). We were always afraid of what kind of backhanded bitchy comment she might make at our frenemies when we were younger, but we loved her anyway and secretly enjoyed it. If shes begging you not to get her anything this year, at least get her the perfect card from Shop Betches.

FOR THE MOM WHOS PUTTING OFF BOTOX FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE

This mom has had perfect skin her entire life and is now in overdrive doing everything she can to keep it that way.  Washing her face isnt just something she does a couple times a day, its now an insane obsession. To make sure this mom is getting the most out of her incessant face cleansing, get her the Soniclear brush from Michael Todd Beauty. The antimicrobial brush stays cleaner and fresher for longer, and cleans deep into your pores.  Lets be real, youre probs going to get one for yourself as well. Also, since shes probs big into blending, you should get her the Sonicblend brush to apply her makeup flawlessly.

FOR THE MOM WHO WON’T LET YOU ANYWHERE NEAR HER KITCHEN

This mom has a panic attack whenever there’s too many people in the kitchen (which for the most part means if there’s anyone in there besides her). She’s a firm believer in “a place for everything and everything in its place”, which as a betch you can only relate to on the level of your apartment’s bar cart.  Joseph Joseph has the perfect modern organizational kitchen shit that will perfectly encourage this mom’s obsessive compulsive habits, but at least the kitchen will look sleek AF so who cares. We love their Nesting Bowl Sets and their super chic Worktop Savers.

FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP WITH HER IPAD ON HER FACE

This mom can’t get enough of her Facebook feed and loves to send you videos of dogs at all hours of the night. She probably thinks she’s squinting at all her screens because she’s old, but really it’s because no ones eyes should not be staring at this shit all day. Felix Gray glasses are v trendy-looking and protect your eyes from the blue light emitted from all our electronics’ screens, so mom won’t have to fight through the headaches to continue scrolling through Insta anymore. Our offices fan favorites are the Turing and Nash frames.

FOR THE MOM WHO JUICED BEFORE IT WAS COOL

This mom has been a juice drinking yoga freak since before you were born, and she’s always looking for new ways to show the world that she’s healthier and has more of her shit together than anyone else. Daily Harvest delivers fresh soups, smoothies, chia parfaits and overnight oats to your door on your schedule. This way, mom can get her fav smoothies delivered at 3pm just in time for her to consume before her 5pm spin class. If you didn’t think eating healthy could be convenient, neither did we, but here we are.

FOR THE MOM WHO HAS EVERYTHING YOU NEVER KNEW YOU NEEDED

This mom may seem like a hoarder, but in reality she’s just a collector of random shit that will impress people. Totally different. Also, we are not ones to talk about hoarding as evidenced by our closets. Anyway, Tovolo is the perfect place to shop for this mom because while it’s super fun for us to look through all the fun kitchen gadgets they have, it will be that much more fun for her because she’ll know exactly what to do with whatever you get her. “OMG, skull ice molds?! This will be perfect for Debbie’s divorce party!”  We love their Clear Ice System and Stainless Steel Cocktail Shaker.

FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS LOSES SHIT

As a young mom, this one relied on her children to remind her of her dentist appointments or whenever she accidentally left the stove on. Though shes the most scatter-brained person you know, shes so lovable youve never (really) faulted her for it. Plus, her lack of having her shit together taught you how to be a proactive, multitasking betch. To make this moms life a little easier as her brain is only getting worse with age (sorry but its true), get her Tile for Mothers Day so you never have to get another phone call about her missing keys again. All she has to do is attach the little Tile to whatever it is she loses every day and connect it to her phone through Bluetooth and voil, when she needs to find either thing she can make em ring (I did not do that on purpose but I apologize).

FOR THE MOM WHO REALLY WANTS TO LOSE 3 POUNDS BUT HATES THE GYM

This mom might sound very familiar because she is all of us. She would much rather spend an hour at book club talking shit than hitting the gym, but the thought of showing up to Southampton for the summer in her current state is freaking her out. Do her a favor and buy her HUM Nutritions Skinny Bird, a natural weight loss supplement. If youre feeling really generous, they also have a Turn Back Time supplement that helps with skin cell protection. Time to pop some pills!

FOR THE BRAND NEW MOM

This mom has been MIA because she is now with child and a real human and also struggling to get more than 4 hours of sleep at night. Brighten up her day by getting her little Betch In Training a baby onesie from Shop Betches.

FOR THE MOM WHO IS ALWAYS ON THE GO

This mom has always been your business betch inspiration, as youve admired her for balancing her work and home life so well. Despite being super important at her company, she somehow found the time to proofread all your high school papers and prepped you for every job interview youve ever had.  Soap & Glory is the perfect cheeky and empowering cosmetic brand that this mom absolutely NEEDS in her life. Since shes always running from mandatory family breakfast to business meeting, get her some of our favorites like their Rushower Dry Shampoo and their Hand Food hydrating hand cream.

FOR THE MOM WHO ALWAYS KEEPS IT SIMPLE

This mom is a woman of few words, but always knows what to say. You can find her in the yoga studio in the morning and hosting a charity dinner party by night. Shes the one who taught you that doing things for others is like, important. Not one for flashy things but a lover of the arts, this mom would love a piece from Adam Marc Jewelry. Our favorite pieces are the Kim Star Choker and the Rafaeli 14k Gold Bar Necklace. Use code BETCHES20 for 20% offyour mom will never have to know you didn’t pay full price.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2qVMVNL

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2r4hrCi via Viral News HQ